Wednesday, November 30, 2011

My Friends Have Got Some Good Stories

You know those stories that make you laugh every time you think of them? These are those stories! I can't believe they happened, and they never get old. But they're all true, I tell ya! I couldn't make them up if I tried.

Monday, November 28, 2011


One week ago was one of the most exciting days of my life! For those of you who don't already know, I SAW KRISTEN WIIG IN REAL LIFE! Here's how the events unfolded:
-Early in the day, I saw on Twitter that there was a screening that night of "Bridesmaids" at MoMA, with Kristen Wiig, Rose Byrne, and Director Paul Feig there for a discussion after.
-I KNEW I HAD TO GO!! Ah, but there was one small catch: You could only buy the tickets in person. I called up, and was told there were nine tickets left (how was this not sold out? Are people crazy?). That's it, I decided I would run 24 blocks up to MoMA on my lunch break to snag those tickets. And that's what I did.
-My sis Marian and I got FRONT ROW CENTER SEATS!!!
-After the show, the stars came out of MoMA and headed towards their car. Just before they got in, Kristen glanced over at Marian and me. Marian kind of gave a polite bow with her hands together and whispered graciously "Thank you, Kristen". I, on the other hand, was unfortunately not as poised. I stalkerishly screamed "I LOVE YOU KRISTEN!!" and before I knew it I was blowing her a kiss! She smiled at me and started to blow me a kiss, but never followed through. I'm pretty sure she was trying to figure out how close her body guard was at that moment. I swear I'm not crazy, Kristen! I'm just possibly your biggest fan on earth!! Don't be scared, be flattered!
Here are some pics to prove that I wasn't just dreaming!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Siri, Can You Hear Me?

There are times when Siri really works her magic! But most of the time, I find myself laughing at the crazy things she thinks I said, and repeating myself over and over again until I just finally give up and try the search manually. I know, I know, POOR ME! My brand new iphone is making my life too hard! BOO HOO!!!! You should feel very sorry for me!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Whatever You Do, Don't Leave Your Vinyl at VYNL

My friend Alexis recently told me a hilarious story about her friend Jim who went to the Mayer Hawthorne concert, and bought a vinyl as a souvenir...Unfortunately Jim left his vinyl at VYNL a restaurant near the concert venue!! And apparently this is something you should not do. When the waiters were asked if they had seen his vinyl, they looked perplexed. "Uh, all of our menus are actual records, so it's going to be mighty hard to find yours". Lesson learned: Whatever you do, do not leave your vinyl at VYNL.

For those of you who are concerned, Jim eventually got his record back. Phew!

Friday, November 18, 2011

I Use the Term "Autograph" Very Loosely

Oh, six year old Sam...You are so adorable! That was a nice effort on your part to complete your autograph collection, but I don't think you correctly understood the meaning of the term "autograph". You see, in order for it to be an autograph, you actually need to get the signature of the person whose autograph you are getting! You cannot, I repeat cannot, write it in yourself. Where was this amazing explanation on wikipedia 25 years ago??

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

More Unusual Google Searches Leading to

Once again, no CLUE how these searches lead to my blog (or why anyone would need to google "don't sit on me"), but they always make me chuckle!

Check out these other bizarre searches.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Shake Shack-A Sob Story

Ahhh, the people I get along with best are those that love food as much as I do. That's why it was so fun having my good friend Abby in town from Chicago this past weekend. We ate like queens! Flex Mussels on Friday night. Shake Shack for lunch saturday. Yerba Buena saturday night. Luke's Lobster for lunch Sunday...There were also some slices of pizza mixed into our diverse culinary schedule. 

One of the most poignant (and hilarious) moments of the weekend was when I looked over at Abby just as she had finished her Shack Burger. She was completely devastated the burger was over, and looked as if she might cry. It's that good, people. You never want it to end! Abby, the fact that you almost cried over a burger makes you even more awesome than I already thought you were. Come back again soon please!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Fifth Grade Journal Friday-An Entry From My BFF Jill

Remember Erik? My second boyfriend? The guy who responded with "I don't know" when I asked him out..and then later that day told me "yes" (by giving me an ice pop)?
Well apparently I wasn't the ONLY one in love with Erik (or unable to spell his name). My oldest BFF Jill was crazy about him too. So in love that she actually composed a song for him. Watch out John Mayer! This girl writes love songs so deep she makes "Your Body Is A Wonderland" sound like death metal. Here is is, a journal entry from Jill:

Jillie, thanks so much for sharing with me and the world. If anyone else has a journal entry they would allow me to post (PLEASE! PRETTY PLEASE!!), please send to I'll love you forever and ever and promise to spell your name right!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

You've Got Something On Your Face

You know when you get home from a sassy night out, and you're feeling good?! SO GOOD! And then you look in the mirror, and you see.....THIS....


I've got spinach (and unidentifiable food particles) wedged in my teeth, mascara crumbles on my cheeks, and lipstick smudged all over...All those guys I shouldn't have smiled at under harsh lighting....All the mirrors I wish I had looked in...


Here are some thought provoking questions on the matter. Answer freely, as your responses are anonymous:

You've Got Something On Your Face

Monday, November 7, 2011

Netgear Vs. Netflix: Who Is More Baffling?

Speaking with customer service reps is never easy, is it? There's always a whole lotta confusion, frustration, and robotic talking (on their part, not mine!). Unfortunately for me, the cartoon above is based on completely true events. And do you know what I did? I ended up solving the problem myself, without their ridiculously expensive help! Take that, Netgear!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Once A Foodie, Always a Foodie

Ahhh, there's nothing like someone surprising you and taking you to Friendly's. The Reese's Pieces Sundae (Not to be confused with the far inferior Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Sundae) is a sundae of dreams! Mmmm crispy Reese's Pieces....Silky smooth whipped cream...Hot Fudge, Peanut Butter, Marshmallow...Oh my! Thanks for the lovely surprise, Mom. You're the best!!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Cutting Back a Bit-Don't Be Sad! Be Glad!

adapted from pic by sabianmaggy
Isn't that Bulldog JUST ADORABLE!?? Now, I want you to focus on his face when I tell you what I'm about to tell you. Whatever you do, don't stop thinking about how smooshy and cute he is...

Ok, here it is. Boy, do I love writing this blog! But posting every weekday is getting to be too much, and I can't keep up! When am I going to have time to go out on all those bad dates and eat all that delicious food you love to read about if I'm busy blogging all the time? This is my way of telling you I have to cut back a bit. Don't worry, I will try to post as much as I can. It just might not be as often as you're used to.

Oh come on now, there's no need for tears! Thanks for your understanding, you're the best!!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Farting at the Gym: WHY???

Dude (I don't say "Dude" often, but it feels appropriate here), it's just you and me on these treadmills...and I know that I myself didn't fart, so it must be you! Don't pretend you didn't do it. There's no one else in sight, you are sooooo busted! 

And on while we're venting about gym pet peeves, please don't do any of the following either: have loud conversations on your cellphone (get an office!), wear extremely strong perfume or cologne that makes it hard for me to breathe (as if exercise didn't make it hard enough), make loud grunting noises (where am I, Gold's Gym?). 

THANK YOU! Follow all these simple instructions and we will get along just fine. And I promise not to beat you up (have you seen my guns? I have been working out a lot lately! Who do you think is smelling all your farts?)