Monday, October 31, 2011

New York Baby Halloween Costume Ideas

costume illustrations by sam, baby pics via fumpt, TedsBlog, Lars Plougmann, jencu, mynameisharsha
Other ideas include: subway rat, fruit man, bag of trash, marathon runner, metro card, hot dog vendor, Wall Street bull...What else am I missing?

Happy Halloween, everyone! Did you know that thanks to this glorious holiday, you are contributing billions of dollars to the American economy (thanks for telling me about this, Dad!)? I did my part to support this crumbling economy by wearing a sexy tree costume. WOOHOOO!!!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Superimpose Me-I Wish It Weren't Snowing Out

Instead of getting all upset about the fact that it's SNOWING in October, I thought I could use a little help from Superimpose Me to make it all ok! Snow, Schnow! Sleet Schleet! JUST LOOK at the view from my window!!! I can't wait to go outside and frolic on the beach!!! So excited!!

adapted from pic by mboperator
If you'd like Superimpose Me to bring one of your dreams to life, send your request and a clear pic to I will try my best to make it happen!

Check out other Superimpose Me success stories here!

Friday, October 28, 2011

What Did Sam Want for her Birthday at the Age of Six?

Wow, you can really tell what I had on my mind at the tender age of six! Last week I mentioned that I collected money (in addition to string, coins, shells etc). This week, I give a helpful hint regarding what I'd like as a birthday present. Can you guess what it is? Take a look!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Halloween 2011-Bringing Sexy Back to Nature

Ahhh, Halloween! It's that time of year I add "sexy" to some object that isn't sexy and call it my costume! In the past, I've dressed up as "sexy corn on the cob", "sexy crayon", "sexy bed bug"...This year, I am going to be a "sexy tree". Here's what my costume might look like...and some expressions I might try to incorporate into my dialogue throughout the night:

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Stop Sh*tting On My Newsfeed, Spotify! (But I Kind Of Like It)

It is kind of annoying the Spotify has been totally taking over my newsfeed lately by letting me know each and every song my friends are listening to. But on the other hand I am finding out about some good stuff...So I can't complain too much! Just in case you do want to hide what you're listening to, here's more info on that. In the meantime, here are some of the songs I've been loving on Spotify (since you won't see them published in your real newsfeed). 

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

You've Got the Wrong Girl,

Look at the ad flashed on the screen after I signed out of their website!!!!

I am not kidding!!! Uh, seriously? Engagement rings and bridal jewelry?? Do you really think you're targeting the right audience? I haven't even gone on a ONE date with a guy I like more than the guy that sells me scratch off lottery tickets at the corner bodega, and now we're talking marriage? COME ON NOW! It's a bit too much too soon. As if I didn't have enough reasons to sign off of your site for good!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Another Disgusting Cockroach Story

I know everyone loves a good New York cockroach story, so here's another one for you! A friend of mine was at her therapist, when she felt what she thought was her scarf tickling her neck. When she went to brush it away, she realized it was a huge cockroach. She jumped up and began screaming bloody murder. The therapist quickly got up too, and swatted at her patient while screaming "KILL IT!!! KILL IT!!!!". After a few minutes of frantic yelling and swatting, the cockroach finally jumped off my friend and onto the floor. The therapist opened the bathroom door and they both watched as the cockroach scurried through the doorway. The patient thought she might need an additional few years of therapy after this experience, but she turned out to be ok. It is New York after all, and unfortunately we're all used to a little cockroach action!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Hottest Kitchens In Town

The following three restaurants have been the toast of the town lately. GREAT PRESS ALL OVER THE PLACE (i.e. you will have to sell your new iphone 4S for BIG BUCKS and bribe someone if you ever want to see the inside of these places and actually eat food!). I am dying to try though:

Tertulia -New Spanish restaurant that's being RAVED about by every single critic and blog. Is it all smoke and mirrors or is this place really as awesome as they say? I guess I'll found out in 2015 when they hype dies down and I'm actually able to get a table there!
Miss Lily's- The most stylish Jamaican restaurant in town. I popped into Miss Lily's Friday night at 7:30 to see how long the wait would be for a party of two. "Sorry, we won't have anything until 11pm". Uh oh. You don't want to come in contact with hungry Sam. She can be a vicious creature!! (Had to eat somewhere else which actually turned out to be an amazing little hidden gem, Snack. Great pick, Michael!)

Red Farm- Farm to table Chinese food (including Pac-Man dumplings!)? I SAY YES!

For more ideas on where you just HAVE to eat right now, check out Eater's Heatmap.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Most Dramatic Breakup of 2011

I recently read a great line in New York Magazine that made me smile:

"It's not easy being a stem. You go through life supporting a family of leaves, buds, shoots, what have you, only to be separated from them in the end and unceremoniously tossed into the trash".

Haha, never thought of it that way before! Sooo dramatic, New York Magazine, but I love it!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Siri...Party Girl!

SIRI-OUSLY, SIRI (the voice activated personal assistant on the new iphone 4s) IS AMAZING!!! Ask her to schedule your appointment, she does it for you. Tell her to call your Mom (hi Mom!) and she gladly makes the call. Ask her what religion you should join, and she brings up 9 local churches (As a Jew, I am offended! But I'll forgive her because she's so awesome!). Siri, I don't know what I ever did without you! I am blown away!!! You know everything, try to help whenever you can, keep me on my toes, and you're the life of the party!:

Friday, October 14, 2011

It's HERE!!! A Very Special Announcement

baby photo via hudsonthego

Little Sam Dreams of Being a Star

For the next few weeks, I am going to post pages from this book I filled in when I was six years old:

The following page actually surprises me. I had no idea that's what I dreamed of being when I was younger!

Maybe my dream will come true one day! I have been dabbling in standup, and really loving it! For those of you who haven't seen it yet (Why not? Have you blocked me on facebook? Do I mean nothing to you? NOTHING AT ALL????), here is my second comedic performance:

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Superimpose Me-Fakebook Edition

You know that Halloween party you weren't invited to? Consider yourself the star guest! The wedding you never received an invitation for? You're invited, and the happy couple would like you to give a toast! That romantic date your crush went on with another woman? It's now a hot date with YOU! Superimpose Me is teaming up with fakebook to make you the most popular person in social networking. Your life has never been this eventful, and you want all the world to see! With just the click of a button, Superimpose Me will add you into any photo you wish you had been there for. You don't even need to leave your apartment to be the most popular girl in town!! See for yourself!

Photos by Debs, MarkScottAustinTX, and ninnet

If you'd like Superimpose Me to bring one of your dreams to life, send your request and a clear pic to I will try my best to make it happen!

Check out other Superimpose Me success stories here!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Trader Joe's: True Love or Just Amazing Customer Service?

How can you tell if the cashier at Trader Joe's is being nice to you because he's in love with you or if it's just part of his job? Here are some telltale signs:

1. Does he ring up two lemons for $80 a desperate attempt to secure more time with you while you wait for the manager to come and remove them from your tab (This really happened to me!)?

2. Does he ask you if you found everything you needed (I DID NOW! I FOUND YOU!!! And that was so nice of you to ask by the way!)?

3. Does he bond with you over how delicious Hass avocados are (oh my! We have so much in common! Is there ANYTHING we don't agree on?)?

Ok, well if any of the previous statements are true in your case, then he's DEFINITELY in love with you!!
All kidding aside, I seriously think we might be a match made in heaven! Hmmm, maybe this is a job for Missed Connections?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Add As a Friend? Maybe Not...

I'm sorry, facebook, but your "People You May Know" section has GOT to go BUH BYE. It has been taunting me for weeks (or years) now, and I'm this close to signing off facebook all together to avoid the torment. Yes, I might know them, but I either hate them, or want to forget they ever existed!! 

And facebook, please stop using data from my gmail to guess who I know. Just because I sent some emails to a guy from online dating a few years ago, DOES NOT mean that I know him (or want to reconnect with him now) or want to see him in a wedding picture with his new wife! I guess that ship has sailed!!!

Thank you, that's all for now. Consider this a warning!

Monday, October 10, 2011

And the Most Painful Jewish Holiday Is.....

OY VEY! There is no doubt in my mind, Yom Kippur is the hardest day of the year for a girl like me who loves her food! For a whole entire day, I must refrain from all food and drink. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! TORTURE!!

Please excuse the bad food puns. They must have been brought on by memories of my starvation. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Status Feed Nobody Wants You To See

All this talk lately about Facebook, OnStar, and Spotify watching/publicizing our every move, is kind of freaking me out! I listen to a lot of embarrassing music on Spotify, and I definitely don't need that published in everyone's Facebook newsfeed. I decided to take matters into my own hands (kind of like when celebrities reveal a big scandal themselves instead of letting the press reveal it). If I am going to be humiliated by all the weird decisions I make in my life, I want to be the one in control! So here's a glimpse at what I don't want you to see:

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Product of a Lifetime

I was just innocently looking up the local weather forecast when I stumbled on an ad* for a product that is going to change my life!! It's a skin cream (whose name I won't mention for fear that it might sell out) that promises to make me look about 30 years younger!!! Here are some actually pics they posted to reveal the dramatic results. I can't BELIEVE IT!!! See for yourself!!!

What did they mean by "try this weird solution"?? What's weird about it?? Looks pretty AMAZING to me!! Here's another ad that only confirms my initial suspicion: THIS PRODUCT IS AWESOME!!

If you read the fine print in the second ad, it says this is a "Dramatization". HUH? What does that mean? Is this not real? In any case, I am placing my order now, I'm not going to let another second pass me by. Wrinkles are for people that don't have the internet!!

*I swear to god this is a real ad I saw on the web! No Superimpose Me was involved here. It is 100% true! Crazy!

Monday, October 3, 2011

An Amazing App That Will Open Your Eyes, Literally

The following app is inspired by two people in my life who can't seem to keep their eyes opened in photos: my cousin Nadav, and my good friend Pallas. No matter WHAT we do, or HOW we time it, they CAN'T KEEP THEM OPENED! So many pictures destroyed, moments left uncaptured. Well that is a thing of the past, because I have come up with the most amazing app idea! Break out those picture frames and get ready to upload amazing photos to Facebook!!! It's the Eyes Wide Open App: