Friday, July 29, 2011

A Budding Artist Creates a Thought Provoking Piece for her Grandma

When I saw the masterpiece my friend Jenny made for her grandma when she was 11, I knew it had to be featured today for all the world to see!! It is a gorgeous birthday card with the heads of her family members glued onto random animals and extremely fit people. My absolute favorite is her bikini clad dad in the upper left corner, declaring "HEY! MUM! I've got a BIG surprise for you!!". Imagine her grandma's shock upon receiving such a work of art. Thanks Jenny, for sharing your work of art with us!! You made my day with this, and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone on this one!!


And now for some disappointing news. I don't know how to tell you this. I guess I'll just blurt it out: I am starting to run low on Fifth Grade Journal entries (luckily I was only in fifth grade for so long!). I beg of you, if you have any journal entries or art projects or anything from your past that might bring other people joy, please send to supergreat@thesupergreat.com. There is no monetary compensation for your generosity, but you will have the satisfaction of knowing you've made millions of people smile (that's how many people I assume read my blog, anyway!). Names can be omitted if necessary. SEND TODAY and you will be my new best friend (unless you are already one of my best friends, in which case I will love you even more than I already do!).

Thursday, July 28, 2011

If You Don't Know How to Fasten Your Seat Belt by Now....

Can I ask you something? Are there grown ups out there that actually do NOT know how to buckle their seat belt at this point in their lives? Every time I'm on a plane, they give detailed instructions on how to do so. You know, "Insert the tab into the buckle to fasten the belt, and lift up on the flap to release the belt". Thank GOD for that guidance! I'm sure that cleared up a lot of confusion for a lot of people. I know they are required by law to say this, but it baffles me nonetheless! 


I was also perplexed last weekend when the flight attendant announced that it was almost time for us to land, and we should discontinue the use of all electronic devices, including computers, cd players etc... I am not kidding, she actually said "cd players"!!! Seriously? Is this some sort of indication of the type of outdated technology they are using to fly that plane, because in that case I am concerned...very concerned!!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Superimpose Me-I Want to Dine at El Bulli!

For the past few weeks, Superimpose Me has been making dreams come true for other people. I decided this week was MY week! And I knew just how to make my dreams come true. A few months ago, I read that the Michelin 3-star restaurant El Bulli was closing for good, and I desperately wanted to go! Unfortunately, there were a few things standing in my way: The restaurant's in Spain (and I'm not), it is nearly impossible to get a reservation (only 8,000 diners out of 2 million score a seat each season!) and on top of all that, it's WAAAY out of my budget. This sounds like a job for SUPERIMPOSE ME!!! I present to you: A fabulous dinner at El Bulli with my good friends Joanna, Lilly, Mike & Milton (our New Years Eve PiƱata from many years ago):

Adapted from a photo by Charles Haynes
I had to piece together six different photos and use a lottttttttt of Photoshop, but it was completely worth it! We all had the time of our lives: scintillating conversation, uproarious laughter (such a jokester, that Milton!), juicy gossip!  If I remember correctly (which is difficult to do since I made up the entire thing), there were about thirty-something courses of innovative magical deliciousness! I've never experienced anything like that (and I DO mean NEVER since I really didn't experience it). Thank you Superimpose Me! Thank you to my friends! Thank you to Ferran AdriĆ  (the chef at El Bulli)! I couldn't have done this (nor did I actually do it) without all of you! I'll never forget (or remember, since it is all a lie) that night for as long as I live.

If you'd like Superimpose Me to bring one of your dreams to life, send your request and a clear pic to SuperimposeMe@thesupergreat.com. I will try my best to make it happen!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Reasons YOU Heart NY-And the Winner is...

I am very excited to announce the winner of the very first "Reasons YOU Heart NY" Sweepstakes! I'll admit, it was not easy to pick someone. I received so many funny, touching, unique, amazing submissions. All week, I agonized over the decision. I finally decided that instead of choosing my favorite, I would pick a name out of a hat (ok, so there was no hat, but I did select a name at random). And the winner is.....the one person out of everyone who entered that can't actually use Forever Stamps: Elizabeth Y. from Melbourne, Australia! Elizabeth, thanks so much for your amazing ideas! I loved them so much, I made a whole post out of them. And since you are unable to use Forever Stamps in your country, I was thinking I could treat you to a Shake Shack burger and fries the next time you're in town (works out to the same price as forever stamps, can you believe it?). Up to you! Thank you to everyone else for your awesome entries. I will definitely be using those as well in future posts. Here are the reasons Elizabeth loves NY:


-being able to dress up and even wear a hat without feeling like a wanker
-having license to act as neurotically as you want because you momentarily forgot you weren't in a woody allen film
-feeling like you're literally adding hours to your life by using wash and fold
-sometimes feeling like you're on holiday in spain and then being pleasantly surprised that everyone speaks english
-not being asked where you're from, because everyone assumes you're from somewhere else

Monday, July 25, 2011

New Yorkers Have Plenty to be Afraid Of

Have you heard of FOMO? It's an adorably catchy acronym for something not so cute: Fear of Missing Out. Which, as a single New Yorker, is something that constantly haunts me (I could meet the man of my dreams at that Improv Everywhere prank if I could just motivate myself to go! What if my prince charming is the subway conductor on that train? If I stay in, I'll never cross paths with him! etc). This got me thinking about all the other things in NY that cause stress and worry. Here are just a few (the acronyms might not be as snazzy, but I hope you will find the ideas extremely relevant nonetheless):

Friday, July 22, 2011

Fifth Grade Journal Friday-It's Party Time!


Gosh, parties used to be so fun back in the day! It was all pizza and ice cream and marshmallows and giggling and presents. I love that we (I'm assuming my twin sis Marian and I chose together) chose such weird movies for our party. Why can I never be a normal child (see separate post on how my first tape cassette was a Cher song)? Anyway, I think I'm going to use this entry as a guide for my next adult birthday party. You're all invited! Aren't you excited? I'm pick better movies this time, I promise!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Superimpose Me-I Want Topanga Hair!

If you were a girl growing up in the early 90's, it is very likely you coveted the thick, lustrous locks of Topanga Lawrence, Cory's girlfriend on "Boy Meets World". So I was not surprised to receive a request from Alexis Winslow begging for Topanga hair. I'm only surprised I didn't receive more requests like this from other women across the country and world. Alexis, I'm thrilled to be able to make your wish come true!! YOU LOOK TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!


If you'd like Superimpose Me to bring one of your dreams to life, send your request and a clear pic to SuperimposeMe@thesupergreat.com. I will try my best to make it happen!

Check out other Superimpose Me success stories here!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Kermit Schmermit

I'm not just plugging the following "Puppets Feel Too" videos because my friend Emi made (and styled (by shopping for tiny clothes at h&m!) and improvised and filmed) them. I'm plugging them because they're hilariously AMAZING!! 

Meet Firecracker Mike, who had a little verbal run-in with Emi's roommate Liz a few nights earlier due to his inconsiderate firecracker use in the courtyard outside their building. This is his response to that:



Also check out Talulah Crumpet (a sassy British reporter), Dill the hipster (If you have some more time, this one's 5 minutes), and Dill doing Elton John.

I can't wait to see what Emi does next (Hint! Hint! Please make more! Now that Netflix is too expensive, I'm counting on you as my sole source of affordable entertainment!!)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Calling All Developers! This App Needs to Be Made (By You?)

I am extremely excited about my new mobile app idea...Due to potential legal concerns, I won't say that it is inspired by one of my favorite shows "Dateline" (even though it's very possible it could be), but I will say that it's something I think we could all use in our lives...In fact, I cannot believe we've gone this long without it! Now I just need to find the right developer to help me put it into action. Is that you?? Check out my idea and let me know!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Let's Face It, Facebook Isn't Perfect-Vol. 1

I'm sure there will be plenty more posts on this topic, as I have LOTS to say. But for now, here's the first installment. It's my own original take on facebook, seen from the perspective of a fictitious character, Negative Nelly. I'm sure you know people just like her, as well as the people in her newsfeed. ENJOY!

photos of people from Martina Rathgens, zugaldia, makelessnoise

Friday, July 15, 2011

Fifth Grade Journal Friday-Losing Friends


I STILL worry about my losing touch with my friends because they start clubs with their other friends. Some things never change.....

OY, the misuse of "your" burns a hole in my soul!

Have a SUPER weekend!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

How Did You Get Here?-Best Google Searches Leading to my Blog

I'd like to think it's destiny or impeccable taste that brings people to my blog. But at times, they're brought here by my favorite thing and yours: Google (will kissing up to Google make my blog rank higher in people's searches? I figure it couldn't hurt!). Through Blogger stats, I can actually see what keywords on search engines have brought people to my site. And here are some of my favorites....drumroll please!:


There is one search that really stands out in my mind though. There was that one time someone googled "awesome" and it led them to my blog. I swear!! I'm not lying! Now that's one accurate google search :)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Superimpose Me-I Want to Be in an 80's Dance Competition

Time for Superimpose Me to help a twin in need: My twin sis Marian, who said it was her dream to dance in an 80's dance competition. You know, one where there is over the top synthesizer music....and flips and lifts in the air....and high cut metallic leotards with headbands...and big hair...and sneaking out at night to practice...a competition your parents disapprove will disapprove of you entering, but once they see what an "amazing" dancer you are, they will beam with pride (this happens in EVERY 80's dance movie). Don't worry Mar, Superimpose me is here to help! Here is a pic of you making your dream come true: YOU DID THE LIFT! IT IS THE CULMINATION OF EVERY DANCE COMPETITION! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!

pic of the lift by tibchris, 80's girl by Asim Bijarani and UggBoyUggGirl
If you would like Superimpose Me to bring one of your dreams to life, send a request and a clear pic to SuperimposeMe@thesupergreat.com. I will try my best to make it happen!

Check out other Superimpose Me success stories here!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Marian and the Cockroach


Ahh, NY and cockroaches. Unfortunately, they go hand in hand. So I was not surprised to hear the story my twin sis Marian told me last week, although I was amused and horrified. She was recently shopping at Bloomingdale's when she picked up a shirt to check it out. She loved everything about it, except the cockroach pin so she asked a sales associate if the pin was removable. And he said, "THAT'S A REAL COCKROACH!!". AHHHHH! Only in NY!!!

Monday, July 11, 2011

My Daily Commute Reminds Me a Lot of "Paperboy"

Every day, my walk to work is like a scene right out of that classic 80's video game, "Paperboy". Without fail, it consists of 20 minutes of skillfully dodging all different sorts of crazy shenanigans. You lose points if you are unable to avoid any of the following:
Doormen spraying hoses, pigeons flying towards your face, construction scaffolding (and sometimes blowtorches), moms with strollers, dogs (and their poop), cars, trucks, puddles (sometimes mounds of snow depending on the season), fruit men, slow walkers, smokers, bagel cart lines, air conditioner drippings, homeless people begging for money, piles of smelly garbage, snow, sleet, hail, heavy winds, ice, crazy people talking to themselves, cat calls, people you know but don't feel like having small talk with, bicyclists, crossing guards, people asking you if you care about [fill in the issue] in order to get you to give them money or sign a petition, crazy cab drivers, buses...It is a miracle I make it to work in one piece every day!



On a side note, what's up with all the weird games from my childhood? Why does any child want to spend his free time delivering newspapers in a video game? And what about Oregon Trail? Hmmmm, Hunting and fishing to prevent starvation, and trying your damndest not to die of Dysentery...Sounds like a good time! Operation and Perfection: Both involving completing some task (a surgery and fitting pieces in a puzzle before the game explodes, respectively) to avoid getting the crap scared out of you. Gosh, the kids nowadays have it so easy!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Fifth Grade Journal Friday-Mood Swings


It's 10:52 right now. And all I can say is: Woah, this entry is ALL over the place! I must not have learned how to transition smoothly between ideas until I was 12. Psycho!! Geez, if I had a dollar for every time I mentioned "taping songs" in my journal, I'd probably have about $5 by now! And love my reluctance to spend $5.37 on a song (when you can just tape it off the radio for free!). I will leave you with the song I didn't want to pay $5.37 for. What do you think, was I being too stingy?

Thursday, July 7, 2011

"Reasons YOU Heart NY" Sweepstakes-ENTER NOW, Win Big!


For months now, I have been writing posts about why I love NY, and I'd love to hear what YOU have to say! Sooo, today I am thrilled to announce the start of thesupergreat's "Reasons YOU Heart NY" Sweepstakes. Tell me what you love most about this city!

I will pick my favorite ideas and include them in my next post about why this city rocks (along with your name, if you wish). The grand prize winner (the person with the BEST idea, as chosen by me) will win something very very exciting: a booklet of forever stamps (total value $8.80). Ironically, I will send you your prize in the mail.

Please feel free to submit as many entries as you'd like. The more you submit, the better your chances are of winning. Unless all of your ideas stink, in which case, probably nothing can help you! But seriously, no idea is too silly, I can't wait to hear what you think!

Email your ideas to ReasonsYouHeartNY@thesupergreat.com. Feel free to repost this contest on Facebook or Twitter! Contest ends Wednesday July 13, 2011 at 11:59 pm.

Check out some of my favorite "Reasons I Heart NY" posts: Vol. 7, Vol. 5 and Vol. 4.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Superimpose Me-Laura Takes on Melbourne!

Superimpose Me recently received a request from Laura, who just moved to Melbourne, Australia, and wanted some help getting settled into her new city...Here is what Superimpose Me made possible:

-Melbourne has proudly declared February 1st as National Laura Day. To celebrate, people will crowd the streets donning Laura masks, and there will be a comedy festival across the city to celebrate Laura's fabulous sense of humor. There will also be fireworks on the Yarra River, she's a firecracker that Laura!
-All street names in the CBD starting with "L" will be changed to Laura: Little Lonsdale Street is now Little Laura Street, Latrobe Street is now Laura Street.
-Footy players have been spotted tattooing Laura's name all over their extremely burly bodies.
-Luna Park will now be called "Laura Park", and Laura's face will be the entrance...Although in order to avoid disrupting her gorgeous smile, visitors are now encouraged to enter through the side entrance.
-Carlton Draught will be rebranded as Laura Draught and packaging will reflect that change.
-License plates will now say: Victoria, home of Laura

carlton draught pic by James Cridland, footy pic by rhoftonphoto
Laura, Melbourne loves having you there!! It is a lucky city and you are a lucky girl to be there! ENJOY!!

If any other readers would like Superimpose Me to bring one of their dreams to life, send a request and a clear pic to SuperimposeMe@thesupergreat.com. I will try my best to make it happen!

Check out other Superimpose Me success stories: Jen the rap star, Brian the fighter pilot and Sam and the koala (By the way, can you spot Hip Hop Sam and the koala in today's post?).

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Tricking Your Friends Is Fun

I'm pretty sure this is a "you had to be there story" but I'm willing to take a chance...Last Thursday all the stars aligned, and I spontaneously pulled off the best office prank of the year so far...(Besides that time Alexis tricked me into thinking I had a flesh eating virus, that was hilarious!).

Around 11:30am, Alexis and I decided we were going to order Cuban food from Tina's around noon. She said she would call in the order, and since I had the website up on my screen, I told her I would give her the phone number....and it was in that instant I realized instead of giving her Tina's number, I could give her my cell # (I knew there was no way she would recognize it!)....And brilliance ensued....

About a half hour later, my phone rang..It was Alexis. Before I continue this story, I think you should know that she sits about 10 feet away from me, with only a cubical wall in our way, making this story all the more ridiculous.

Ok, so my phone rang, and I picked it up..In my most quiet and creepy voice ever, I said "Hello?". Alexis hesitated...then nervously said "Uh, Is this Tina's?"...After a few moments, I unconvincingly whispered "Yes"....desperately trying to stifle my laughter...It was then that she realized what was going on. I'm amazed she didn't figure it out earlier!

I have never laughed so hard in my life. Seriously tears were streaming down my face. I highly recommend trying this out on your coworkers if you ever have the chance!!!


Monday, July 4, 2011

How to Express Yourself Using Emoticons-NYC Edition

Ahhh, New York and emoticons...Two of my favorite things!! There are times you want to communicate an idea about this grand city, and words don't do it justice. That's when emoticons come in handy! Here is a little guide I put together to help you express yourself effortlessly. I am thinking of submitting it to Google for use in Gmail, but we'll see!


And for those of you that have the same problem as me, the inability to suppress emoticon usage, here is an extremely useful article.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Fifth Grade Journal Friday-Ominous Signs in Your Relationship


You know your relationship is doomed when any of the following is true:
-You don't know how to spell your boyfriend's name (or your own for that matter. If you can't even spell your own name, you're nowhere near ready to enter into a relationship with another human)
-I mentioned this a few weeks ago, but I think it deserves another mention. If you ask a boy out, and he hesitantly says "yes" by having his friend give you any sort of frozen dessert, it's not looking good for you. A cookie is better, but I'd still be skeptical.
-Hmmm, 32 days into the relationship and you're already in LOVE, Sam? I'd say things are going to burn out pretty quickly...