Thursday, June 30, 2011

Would You Like a Free Sample?

Ok, I have something to confess...

There's this smoothie place a block from my work. I walk by it quite often...And there's always someone standing outside giving out free samples of their Strawberry Banana smoothie...And every time I walk by with my coworker Alexis, we take samples and pretend it's the very first time...With perplexed looks on our faces, we say things like "Oh, what's this? It looks amazing!" or "Strawberry Banana? That's a revolutionary idea, I'd LOVE to try!". There's nothing more refreshing (or reasonably priced) on a hot summer's day. DELICIOUS I TELL YOU! I wonder if the people that work there are onto us yet...

Oh well, you know what they say: You can never have too many free Strawberry Banana smoothies. [Ok, so I made that up! But it's totally true!]

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Reasons I Heart NY-Vol. 7

-Nuts 4 Nuts-Those nuts vendors on lucky Manhattan street corners-They give off the most magical smell I've ever known. If I could bottle that smell and sell it to New Yorkers living overseas, I'm pretty sure I could make millions. (If you're wondering, the nuts don't even taste half as good as they smell, but they're still pretty darn good!)
-Joe's Shanghai-Sitting at a communal table with your friend and about 4 random people, slurping on delicious soup dumplings-it doesn't get any better than that!
-Signs alerting people to when/where movies and tv shows will be filmed...posted in advance...(required by law, I think?): Making it easier than ever to stalk your favorite celebrities!
-Shady people lingering on the east river that motivate me to run faster on my river jogs (so as to show them they shouldn't try messing with me)
-Apotheke-a hidden apothecary style bar we stumbled upon (with a little help from our iPhones of course!) in Chinatown. Amazing ambiance! Bartenders wear white coats and prescribe cocktails to suit your needs: Health and Beauty, Stress Relievers, Aphrodisiacs etc. Just what the doctor ordered (You don't know how long I was waiting to say that! Couldn't resist!).

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Superimpose Me-I Want to be a Rap Artist

When my friend Jen originally asked to be Superimposed, she didn't give a specific direction....I knew I was going to have delve further into her hopes and dreams. She finally confessed she had always wanted to be a rap star. CHA CHING!! JACKPOT! I knew this was going to be GOOOOOD! I now present to you Jen: a member of the Grammy winning rap group, GRAMERCY PARK GIRL$. I, of course, am also in the group because this is my blog and I thought I would look good in the outfit. Enjoy! 

adapted from photos by Seo2, TMWolf and Rob & Jules
Please look for us on i-Tunes (not saying you'll find us, but I do love the thought of you looking.)
If you would like Superimpose Me to bring one of your dreams to life, send a request and a clear pic to I will try my best to make it happen! Check out other Superimpose Me success stories: Brian the fighter pilot and Sam and the koala.

Monday, June 27, 2011

If You See a Big Nitrogen Tank, Say Something

If you live in NY, you've probably seen the anti-terrorism ads plastered all over the city, declaring: "If you see something say something". I always wondered if I should "say something" about those giant nitrogen tanks I see all over the place. Don't they look a tad bit sketchy to anyone else? I mean, if those things don't set off all sorts of alarm bells in your head, I don't know what will! Do not fret, apparently they are completely safe. They enable our internet and phone services to function, by keeping underground cables cool and dry. If you'd like to find out more, here is a handy-dandy video.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Fifth Grade Journal Friday-Some Things Never Change, and Some Do

It's amazing how much has and hasn't changed from when I was 11! Here's a recap:

What hasn't changed:
-Unfortunately I still deal with loud people that keep me up at night (mainly the hooligans that live across the street and hang out on their stoop, screaming and whistling etc....much less adorable than being kept up by giggling girls at a sleepover party!)

What is different now:
-"ooooooh! the superbowl! I'm so excited!!". And that was the last time I cared about sports.
-I'm much better at spelling my name now, I hardly ever make mistakes.

Wow, a lot of trash talk in this entry. I had to block a LOT of names out! Don't you wonder who Tina is? (Not telling!!!) And why I hated her so much? What could she have possibly done? Not bought me the Garfield doll I wanted? Rooted for the opposing team in the Superbowl? Oh silly fifth grade drama!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Reasons I Heart NYC-Vol. 6 [Union Square Edition]

Ahhh, Union Square, it's one of the strangest parks I know (besides Washington Square Park, which I'll address some other time!). Here's what makes it awesome:
-Groups of people doing weird things and lots of people standing around watching them (Saturday, I saw a large group of people hopping around in these).
-The Mysterious Clock at the south end of the park-No matter how many articles I read about it, I will never fully understand this clock. But it sure makes a great conversation piece! (Example: Tourist says "What is that clock for?", I reply with "Not exactly sure, but I think it keeps track of every time a couple from gets married")
-People soliciting things (free hugs, asking you questions about your hair (so they can convince you to buy a salon package from them. These people drive me CRAZY!!))
-Union Square Greenmarket-Need I say more? It's packed with people, so it's a claustrophobic person's worst nightmare, but it is full of delicious fresh fruit, vegetables, (and MORE!) straight from the farm.
-Chess Players-Why do people feel the need to set up Chess Games in every park in the city (does this happen in other cities too?)? I don't get it at all, but I still love it!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Superimpose Me-I Want To Be a Fighter Pilot

Last week, I received a request from a young man named Brian who wanted more than anything in the world to become a fighter pilot!! Brian, your wish is my command. You've been Superimposed (and that's your wife Alexis standing behind you, in case you didn't recognize her!):

Image adapted from photos by Brian Cantrell and TMWolf
It's a's a's BRIAN!!! Wow, Brian, you are a complete natural! It's like you were born to do this. Love the skywriting thank you note, such a nice little touch. But I'd like to take this moment to thank YOU, Brian. Thank you so much for submitting your request. Superimpose Me wouldn't be possible without courageous people like you (and it doesn't hurt that I am a master of Photoshop!).
If any other readers out there that would like Superimpose Me to bring one of their dreams to life, send a request and a clear pic to I will try my best to make it happen!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Pretty People Say the Darndest Things

Geez, extraordinarily pretty people have it so easy! Can you imagine average or unattractive people getting away with dialogue like this?

For those who don't want to actually watch the video, here is actual dialogue between Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling from "The Notebook":

Rachel: "You think in another life I could have been a bird?"
Ryan: "What do you mean?"
Rachel: "Like reincarnation"
Ryan: "I don't know."
Rachel: "I think I could"..[Rachel makes Bird Noises]..."Say I'm a bird."
Ryan: "No"...[Rachel flaps her arms like a bird]..."Don't do it"
Rachel: "Say I'm a BIRD!!" [Rachel runs to Ryan screaming in bird-like way]..."SAY IT!!"
Ryan: "You're a bird."
[Rachel and Ryan kiss]
Rachel: "Now say you're a bird too."
Ryan: "If you're a bird, I'm a bird."
[Rachel and Ryan kiss again]

RIDICULOUS!! Can you imagine if I tried convincing some guy I was dating to say I was a monkey (and then I started scratching my armpits and making ape noises)? You can be sure I would never hear from him again! Not fair!

Monday, June 20, 2011

What's the Name of that New Justin Timberlake Movie Again?

Anyone could have made the same mistake.....The new movie with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis ("Friends With Benefits") looks an awful lot like that movie with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman ("No Strings Attached") that came out earlier this year, doesn't it? So I was not surprised when my friend Yvonne mistakenly called the new movie "Strings with Benefits", although I WAS very amused...And inspired to create the following:

Of course I can't wait to see the movie, it looks like just my thing! And want to know what I realized when I wasn't listening to NSYNC (for those of you that have forgotten, it's Justin's old band) on my iPhone (ok, FINE, so I was listening to NSYNC! Judge me all you like, but "Bye Bye Bye" is an amazing song!)? One of NSYNC's albums is called "No String Attached", which is the name of the Ashton movie, not the Justin movie, adding another layer of confusion to all this...

Friday, June 17, 2011

Fifth Grade Journal Friday-My Second Boyfriend

 Ok, a few things here:
-What does it mean Eric "sort of" asked out Nicole? I didn't realize it was something you could kind of do.
-The next time I ask a guy out and he responds with "I don't know", and then after much deliberation accepts my offer (by giving me an ice pop), I'm definitely going to rescind my offer!
-Wow for a citizen of Australia, I sure had a hard time spelling the country's name back in the day! "Astralia"? And my personal Favorite: "Assie"!! You should be ashamed of yourself 11 year old Aussie Sam!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Staten Island: Harry Belafonte, Amazing Food, the Ferry

Well, last Wednesday was my first time in Staten Island, and I have to say: I LIKE!!!

Transportation: And they say you can't get a free ride (Or do they only say that about free lunch?). Well I got one last Wednesday: The Staten Island Ferry! It was magical, breezy, and FREE! And I passed Lady Liberty along the way. What more could you want?

The Event: My friend Emi and I were heading to the opening night of the Staten Island Film Festival (her short film, "The Retreat" was in it). The new Harry Belafonte documentary, "Sing Your Song" was being screened, and lucky for us, Harry himself was there to answer questions after the film. Very cool!

The Food: The screening was over by 10pm and we still hadn't eaten dinner. We were STARVING! Luckily, we stumbled upon this adorable little Italian restaurant, Enoteca Maria, RIGHT next door to the theater. And BOY was this place authentic. Pretty much everyone that works there is from Italy, including the chefs who are actual Grandmas (or Nonnas) from all over Italy. I was pretty sure this was going to be the best Italian feast I had eaten all week/ever (Sorry, Frankies! You're pretty darn good yourself)! At first, I had some difficulty actually procuring food (the waiter told me they were out of both dishes I tried ordering (not until AFTER after he raved about them though! DO NOT MESS WITH HUNGRY SAM! It is not pretty!). Once the food started coming out I was transported directly to Italy. It was definitely worth the wait!

A postcard from the Enoteca Maria. Those are the Grandmas acting like the Beatles!! Awesome, eh?
Favorite Part of the Night (besides seeing Harry Belafonte, eating amazing Italian food, and having the most amazing hair day ever): As we were walking back to the ferry at the end of the night, a garbage truck flew around the corner at an alarming speed. Emi screamed "NOOOO! I can't be hit by a garbage truck in Staten Island. That's not how i want to go!!". Hilarious! Perfect way to end to a magical night!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Avocado Dilemma

WHY OH WHY is it so hard to use an avocado before it's overripe??? Am I the only one who struggles with this on a regular basis? You buy it when it's hard as a rock, it sits patiently on your counter for days, and then by the time you remember its exists: BROWN AND MUSHY! The window of opportunity is too small, it's impossible! But I must say, there's nothing like catching an avocado at that moment it's perfectly ripe, so perhaps it's worth the struggle!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Introducing a New Blog Segment: Superimpose Me!

Would you believe that after visiting Australia for years and years, I've NEVER held a koala? This got me thinking about all of the other things I've never done, places I've never been, people I've never met etc...Instead of feeling bad for myself, I decided to take matters into my own hands: HELLO PHOTOSHOP! With a few clicks of the mouse, I can be transported anywhere in the world! And so here is the start to a new series on my blog called "Superimpose me!" Thanks to Adobe, nothing is out of reach. I present to you, Sam holding a koala...

Adapted from a photo by Rob & Jules
Awww, How cute is that koala? I'll never forget that day for as long as I live (but simultaneously, it is quite hard to remember, considering it never actually happened!). Don't I look like a natural? I always thought I would freak out when I actually got to hold one, but I just felt so at peace. Animals love me!

Is there anything YOU'VE always dreamed about doing? Some island you've always wanted to visit? Or can't ride a bike, would love to see what you would look like on one? Email your request and a clear photo of you to and I will try my damndest to make it happen (in Photoshop anyway!)....Of course, I will post the results on my blog, to inspire others to make their dreams come true! In the meantime, I will continue to photoshop my own face onto things...

Monday, June 13, 2011

Pretty Sure I'm Not Going To See the New Tom Hanks Movie

I'm sorry, Tom Hanks, but your new movie "Larry Crowne" looks BAAAAAD. So bad I want to crawl under my seat every time the preview comes on. Badder than bad, bad Leroy Brown, the baddest man in the whole darn town. BAD!! Getting Oprah to plug it was a good idea, and asking your best friend Julia Roberts to co-star could have helped a movie slightly better than yours, but I don't think anything can save you here, Tom. They can't all be winners!

p.s. Part of me doesn't want to piss you off because who knows, maybe you could direct the movie version of my blog one day. But who am I kidding, with a movie as bad as "Larry Crowne" coming out I might have to rethink offering you the position anyway.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Reasons I Loved NY This Week-Vol. 5

-Driving over the Brooklyn an actual car (not in a cab).....with my hands on the steering wheel. EXHILARATING!
-New York street parking signs weed out the weak. It is extremely difficult to process all of the rules/times/restrictions listed on each sign: survival of the fittest!
-You can get pizza at any hour of the day! And you're probably not the only one with that idea, the pizza place we went to last Saturday was packed at 2am!
-Randomly bumping into people you know. In a city with over 8 million people, it's amazing how often this happens.
-Andrew Bird at Prospect Park: a little birdie (my friend Dave) told me free concerts were starting up again in Prospect Park and boy was I excited! Free! Friends! Fresh Air! Food! Did I mention FREE?

Friday, June 10, 2011

Fifth Grade Journal Friday-The Post Relationship Recap

OH TRAVIS!! It's like I meant nothing to you at all! After me, you jumped from "relationship" to "relationship". I stood by and watched as you romanced all the other women in our 5th grade class. When I told you I loved you and hoped we would stay boyfriend and girlfriend forever, I meant every word (and am actually quite shocked I didn't see a Travis shaped hole in the wall that day. What a trooper you were for staying with me after that!). But how easily you moved on! That's ok, you and I (and the 10 other girls you went out with that year) will always have 1991...But I'm not bitter, really I'm not!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Funniest Thing I Ever Did Get at Mailboxes Etc.

It's not often that you find yourself involved in the following scenario:

Friend: "Oh wow, that is UNBELIEVABLY awesome, where did you get it?"
Me: "Why thank you. I got it at Mail Boxes Etc."

This was my life in 2007! I stopped into Mail Boxes Etc. to pick up boxes for my impending move, and stumbled upon these hilarious Uncooked Cards for sale. I couldn't stop laughing! They are out of control funny. I'm talking squirt milk through your nose, desperately gasp for air, knee slapping hilarious. I swear, if you ever sent one of these cards to your friends, they would probably send you a thank you card in return (to which you would most likely follow up with this). Thank you Uncooked Cards, for saving the world from the boring and trite. With cards like these, you are my hero!!:

Also, a big thank you to Mail Boxes Etc, for introducing me to one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. I now believe the "Etc" in Mail Boxes Etc. could beat the crap out of the "Beyond" from Bed Bath and Beyond any day (although, I have to say, with its 20% coupons and unbelievably forgiving return policy, "Beyond" puts up a good fight!).

Please, please pleeeeeeeese, check out the rest of the Uncooked collection. Every single card is amazingly funny! There is no better way to spend your time or money, I promise!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Straight To Hell

I don't want to sound unreasonable here, but I'm pretty sure that people who throw their gum on the ground are going straight to hell. There, I said it! I can't think anything else that is more inconsiderate and evil (ok, so I can think of a few things. But let's focus on one thing at a time). If you throw your gum on the ground, odds are, some poor unsuspecting victim is going to stomp right into it, getting it all over their shoes, and making a huge unnecessary sticky dirty hairy mess! PUT IT IN A GARBAGE! THE WORLD IS NOT YOUR OWN PERSONAL GARBAGE CAN!! But I'm not bitter or anything (Can you tell I stepped in gum Friday night? My blog is like therapy for me!!)!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Elevator Small Talk Can Be Fun!

There's no better way to start your day than some pick-me-up elevator small talk! Last Friday, I was in the elevator on my way to work, when this adorable older gentleman said to me "You sure are pretty". I told him, "That's so nice. Thank you!". He responded with "If you were ugly, I would tell you you were ugly". I asked him if he really would do that, and he confirmed that he would. I felt extremely lucky I spent so much time picking out my outfit that morning! Things could have gotten really ugly (pun intended!!).

Monday, June 6, 2011

Netflix and Sam: Two Hearts that Beat as One

There are so many reasons I love you, Netflix:
- You are there for me when I need you [instant streaming]
- You make an effort to get to know the important people in my life [offering free Netflix trials for my friends and family]
- You are reliable [always sending my mailed movies on time! How do you DO it, Netflix??]
- You know me like no one else does [suggesting movies I might like to watch]
- You care [asking how my picture quality was]
- You believe in an open line of communication [letting me know when you've received my movies, and when I'll receive mine]
- You're not afraid to admit when you're wrong [apologizing immediately for interrupted service and promising to credit my account]
- You are interesting [over 75,000 movies to watch!]
- You are always working to make yourself better [New movies added all the time!]

I could devote a whole blog to the reasons I love Netflix (and if the company paid me enough, maybe I would! Not that I'm a sellout or anything, but a girl's gotta find a way to fund her expensive eating habits, doesn't she?).

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Reasons I Loved New York This Week-Vol. 4

-Rollerskaters in Central Park-People of all different sorts skate around and dance in front of hundreds of (bewildered and amazed) spectators. There's no better place for people watching in the world! If you ever visit NY (or if you live here!) You have to check it out.
-Arturo's-You don't come here for the food (although it's pretty decent). You come for the live jazz, old school NY feel, awesome bartender named Tony. If you ever go there, tell Tony Sam sent ya. He'll have no clue what you mean! haha!
-Jeffrey's-An adorable, painfully hip restaurant in the West Village owned by the same people as Joseph Leonard (which is also awesome). Sat at the bar and slurped down some oysters and munched on cheese and toast. Yum!
-Comedy Cellar-"The Place Where Lots of Famous People Have Performed". Not their official tag line, but it's true! Great place for some laughs (get there early to score a table in the front if you want the comedians to make fun of you!)
-Jaume Plensa's "Echo" (a.k.a. the giant head sculpture) in Madison Square Park- I don't know if it's because I have a big head and I can relate, or what....but seriously every time I walk by this sculpture, I am mesmerized. It is beautiful!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Fifth Grade Journal Friday-It's Doodle Time!

Awww, how cute! These are some doodles I did right before my 11th birthday. A few things:
-What on EARTH is that object next to the "slice of pizza" and why all the violent spillage?
-Look at that, I was designing slumber bags even at the tender age of 10 (for those of you that don't know, I design bedding in my current job as well). LOVE that I had my name plastered all over the design. That's not a bad idea at all, might bring that one up to my boss!
-Haha, love the antiquated electronics in this drawing: an old touch-tone phone and rockin' boombox (and tape casette)!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Graffiti Bandit Strikes Again

Well, he's at it again! The graffiti bandit left his mark in my building again: first, scrawling a capital "E" in the hallway outside my friend Michelle's apt (Shocking, I know! In addition to simply math, this guy knows his letters too!!), and then scrawling some typical graffiti tags in the stairwell. This is what I have to say to him: Dude, you either LIVE in Gramercy or KNOW someone who does...YOU'RE JUST NOT THAT HARD CORE!!! OOOOOH, what are you going to do next? NOT hold the elevator door open for someone? Or mix a plastic bottle in with the paper recycling bin? Get a life and start respecting your neighbors! Maybe sign up for an art class at SVA or something if you really want to leave your mark in this world?

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

As Ice Cube Once Said, "It Was a Good Day"

Last week, I had one of those days where it seemed nothing could go wrong! The sun was shining, the birds were chirping (or the new york equivalent: I didn't see any rats), the elevator door opened up right as I walked toward it, the doorman (who can sometimes be cold and bitter) gave me a smile and a wink, I found $10 hidden in my purse, had an amazing run on the river (didn't throw my iPod in!)...and ended the night with a delicious dinner at Socarrat Nolita with friends.....It was like a dream (except my dreams usually involve my teeth falling out, bombings, and forgetting to study for a it was EVEN BETTER THAN A DREAM!!)