Thursday, September 1, 2011

Worst Date Ever (NSFMTR-Not Suitable For Mom to Read)

A few days ago, I went on what will go down in history as the worst date of my entire life (and believe me, there have been a LOT). Here's a play by play:

-I went on a first date with Bob* to Aussie bar Sunburnt Cow (good pick Bob!). We were having a decent time so we decided to continue the date at Crif Dogs.
-On our way to Bua after that, we somehow started talking about what foods he eats (Don't ask! It made sense in context). We talked about lobster and oysters etc...Then he kind of whispered to me (in a slightly dirty voice) "That's not ALL I like to eat". I was like "Seriously? That's really inappropriate. I can't believe you just said that".
-Needless to say, things were a little awkward after that. Obviously disregarding any vibes of repulsion I might be sending out, he tried to make out with me at the bar. I was like "No way". He responded with "I thought it would be a good idea, because I'm kind of out of things to say" and I was like "Really? You have nothing to say to me so you want to make out? Maybe we should just end this, it's not really going that well is it?"
-We left the bar and said our goodbyes (Buh bye forevah, Bob!). As I crossed the street, he yelled out to me "Make sure you spell my name right on your blog" (I had told him about the blog earlier in the night, but thankfully I didn't tell him what the name was). I yelled back to him "What's your name again?"
-Shockingly, the next day I received a text from him saying he was glad I came out and he had a good time (HUH???? WERE WE ON THE SAME DATE?????)
-I wrote him back ""It was definitely interesting. Nice meeting you but I think we want different things. good luck!"

Yikes! It's really scary out there, people! I'm half tempted to join a convent (Just kidding, Mom! But then again, you shouldn't be reading this anyway, because it's NSFMTR!!) but I think I'll stick it out. I don't know if I'm a glutton for punishment or what but I'm still hopeful there's someone good out there for me. I'll keep you posted!

*Name has been changed to protect the creepy


  1. Sam, I feel your pain! My recent date involved a revelation that the guy was married (when will I learn to stay away from vivacious French men?!) And we were trapped in a Green-Wood cemetery during a rain storm until a cemetery ranger gave us a ride out of there (this took some pleading on my part). So I'm not saying this is a contest, but if it were I'd win... Winner!


  2. AHHH!! Dina, that is amazing! you definitely win! Where do we find these losers????